Emphysema

I was 33, when I lost my gumption
I was 33, when I lost my nerve
Almost 34, know nothin' 'bout free lunches
Almost 34, and I know all 'bout free dinners

And there ain't no prayer,
and there ain't no gospel.
I'm feelin' scared,
the whole entire world seems so hostile.

And there ain't no jewels,
no celebrity press.
Just a bunch of girls,
walking around with no breasts on their chests.
Life's a short walk to a hospice.
Spend your whole life,
looking for an accomplice.
Then pause, look back_
_what did you accomplish?
Did you get around
to doin' dat thang?
--Don't worry none, if you didn't.
Something looks a lot like nothing,
Naked emperors don't need no cloak,
sometimes when you're alive,
the only way to keep breathin'
is to smoke.

I don't fault you any,
for the spaghetti in your lungs.
I don't begrudge you,
for all of those drugs.

Sometimes, you just gotta feel_
    _purple.

Sometime, you just have to float.

Because the body, it wrinkles, fades, & can
    bloat.

You gotta coat
this shit filled Twinkie 
with sugar
'cause shit don't sparkle.

I know I'm gonna still miss you tomorrow...

But I'm 33 and I've lost my nerve.
I'm 33 and I've lost my gumption.
Don't know nothing 'bout any free luncheon,
but I'll eat that free dinner, if you care to serve. 

Prozac Nation. - (longish poem)

Is it a little green bag or a little green pill, Alice?

Gotta find some kind of sister kind

You’ve trespassed and surpassed most boundaries

Making blunders and bypassing foundries

Because you never seem to get enough rest in

Jew eyes might’ve read you but never did listen,

Even then, lines were skimmed & no one listened,  

Now you know that stars are just ghosts

And there’s no sense in wishin’.

Your heart – a French crimson balloon

And the boys don’t swoon anymore like they used to

Shoes break you, your arches are like a London Bridge

So many sighs are falling

While no signs are coming

No one’s calling, no one’s there to forgive

So busy not dying, forgot how to live

Screaming from a rabbit hole

Holy water & blood

Would they hear your cries through the flood?

Are you brooding alone again, Alice?

Are you in your ivory tower or glass palace?

Are you steady on your balance beam,

                Or have you lost your valance?

Didn’t need a codex or a decoder

                Your sisterhood is scrambled &

Completely out of order.

This court of crows

Would never condemn their murder

The last thing you want

Is another listless sitcom

Or tasteless burger

That electric typewriter is gone

You gave it to George the recovered heroin addict when you lived in Lakewood because he was a poet too

And he recited one to you

Alice, did you lose the game rules?

How can you be sore and unbruised?

How can you be so spent when you’re unused?

How long you gonna be a kid ruining the soles of your shoes?

Who cut the breaks on you?

Why you askin’ so many taxin’ questions…

…in your delicate state.

All those brahs thought you was just one of ‘em hoes to gyrate

And Skygate might be the only God you now know;

Alice, are you bigger or smaller now?

Did ya’ find Dinah a dahlia?

A keyhole to fit through?

Did it taste funny, that mushroom?

And to think, all Cinderella had to do

                was loose a fucking shoe.