#1 Love

Life is havoc wreaked upon us,
we drink aqua from sapphires,
bemused in spite of it.
Inspired because of it.

She might be gone,
but the house is still here.
Stands sturdy, German construction in the ghetto.
Nothin' 'bout these walls are hollow.

But they are hallowed.
    Even if you only see squalor. 
        There's still laughter in the parlor, 
               so please excuse my pallor, 
                   and don't you dare call us fuckin' 
"parlor libertarians".
     Anymore.

We're all Einsteins & librarians,
cancer-free vegetarians,
radical radicals.

We're gonna brake protocol,
heed the call,
and start a new procedure.  

Ramrod this roughshod ramshackle politic 
because our love is thick--
    --thicker than your poisoned water. 

You always want me to think 
faster, smarter, better,
...but I decline to think at all.

I don't want your school books,
your dirty teachers' looks.

I don't want to be deprived of the sun 
or the soil.

Your system spoils 
    lives.

We struggle to just breathe and be.

What you call freedom,
     is depraved captivity.

So focus on the real enemy 
that steals your children and pull
    your own whodunit Houdini.

Tap out.

Run your own game.

Because this duck is fucked
    and it's lame.

She wrote the writing on this wall.

She ran with me down this hall.

She is part of The All.

#1 Love

   ...my...
         ...number one...

               Love,

Your Goldfish Didn't Run Away

So on the way home from work today I was behind a car with a Batman logo sticker and a bumpersticker that said, "Your Goldfish Didn't Run Away," and I know there was an earthquake in China, there's an epidemic Ebola outbreak in Africa, and it seems like Russia and Isreal are basically starting wars right now...  ...but...  I'm seriously pondering the meaning of those bumpstickers.  Especially the comment on the goldfish running away...

I mean...goldfish don't run away.  Did that person suffer from shield type parenting?  Were they the ever more so jaded and glub because of it?  Is it about self delusion of obvious truths?  The white lie that's off-white? 

Were they less upset by the lie of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy?  Were they not told these lies?  Were they exposed to every reality, except that of death?  Had they come home one day, a plump pink youth, careless on the matters of death and dying to only come upon the fumbling parent that was too honest to replace the goldfish outright but in the face of such despicable truth, they faulter on their truth telling and profess crazily that their children's beloved pet had impossibly ran away?  To spare them loss but to only instead replace it with false hope?  So their kid pauses perplexed by such an obvious lie, that they lose some of the pink, some of the plumpness.

Knowing, they had been abandoned and that they had been left by their much beloved pet.

Yet feeling hesitant to believe this.

When the real truth is...

...that kid over fed that goldfish, until its stomach exploded.  So the kid is an unintentional murderer. 

The parent doesn't know this however.  So, they lie to their kid.  And even though the kid knows the parent is lying, they choose to believe their lie.  Only to live out a moment of scorn sometime in middle school, when every classmate calls bullshit on the story of a run away goldfish.

So the kid crys and stammers.  They can't defend their lying parent.

But at 25 they can get a customized bumper sticker made from a website for only $10, and they put it, like a forever motto on the bumper of their car.  So even insignificant strangers like myself would go on, touched and moved by a very minor event, wondering at how they came about championing for Dada-esque truth.

Because the truth is, that goldfish really didn't fucking run away, it peddled away on a damn bike.

But who the hell is going to believe *that*?

Hobby Lobby, Corporate Personhood, and Vampires

The Hobby Lobby court ruling is bullshit.

Here's why it is bullshit: 

"Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between [Woman] & [her] [Hathor] (God), that [she] owes account to none other for [her] faith or [her] worship, that the legitimate powers of government reach actions only, & not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between Church and State."  - Thomas Jefferson in a letter to the Danbury Baptist Association in 1802.

A separation between church and state in America was encouraged by Jefferson because he was intelligent enough to know that religious dogma is essentially an opinion and that opinion's should not dictate governmental policies. 

So say Susan is 14 and pregnant and wants to get an abortion.  But Susan's Uncle Steve is against it because Uncle Steve thinks abortion is murder.  Thinking abortion is murder is actually an opinion, not a fact though, Uncle Steve.  Because when someone assigns a zygote, blastocyst, embryo, or fetus personhood due to religious zealotry, that dogmatic opinion stating a mass of cells is a person just doesn't make it so.  For the concept of what defines "personhood" is a subjective opinion, not an objective one and philosophical, at best.  

For instance, in Trustees of Dartmouth College v. Woodward – 17 U.S. 518 (1819), the U.S. Supreme Court recognized corporations as having the same rights as natural persons to contract and to enforce contracts. Then in Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad – 118 U.S. 394 (1886), the Chief Justice Morrison Waite made the concept of corporate personhood even more clear when he stated, "The court does not wish to hear argument on the question whether the provision in the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution, which forbids a State to deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws, applies to these corporations. We are all of the opinion that it does."  Two years later, in Pembina Consolidated Silver Mining Co. v. Pennsylvania – 125 U.S. 181 (1888), the Court held: "Under the designation of 'person' there is no doubt that a private corporation is included [in the Fourteenth Amendment]. Such corporations are merely associations of individuals united for a special purpose and permitted to do business under a particular name and have a succession of members without dissolution."  And this doctrine has been reaffirmed by the Court many, many times since.

Honestly, it's extremely outrageously dangerous that our Supreme Court is contending that corporations and undeveloped fetuses are more of a human being than an actual human being is. 

Unborn entities are recognized as people because apparently wombs and women are mere hosts of labor (pun entirely intended) but not assigned the same dignity of personhood.  Nothing demonstrates this crippling dehumanization more than the Hobby Lobby decision.  It's tacky, ridiculous, insulting, depraved, and uncivil, America.  Susan trying to achieve more with her life than become an out-of-wedlock teen mom by 15 is a noble aspiration and y'all ought to be ashamed of yourselves for expecting a child to sacrifice their still germinating life because, let's be real, they made A MISTAKE.  A mistake that doesn't only adversely impact Susan's life, but the yet-to-be life of that yet-to-be person that wasn't put there by immaculate conception!  Her entire life, she's bombarded with advertising, everything from sexy pop commercials to soft core porn in plots that have made violence against women a troupe for Christ's sake.  Her entire life, she's sold and told to wear clothes that are pink, frilled, lacy, and improper--because sometimes, that's ALL that's on the shelf.  Susan grows up in a world where #LikeAGirl is an insult.  Where she's shamed for putting out but chased to let someone put it in.  You can't assign the choice only to the fault to the female when you're crushing her with a patriarchy that treats her like fucking frilly furniture you can screw whenever it strikes your fancy.  
      

(American sucker.)

I am sick and tired of all these scientific and technological and sociological ignoramuses ruining everything for the rest of us actual educated, moralistic, real people.  Real people that care about the quality of the life that's given to life, grasping, that that's the real sin, letting children live listless in squalor, letting true brilliance and talent just rot on the alter of money.  Because you think glory is the hole in the opening of life.  Glory is the actual product of life.  Woman aren't clamoring for men to wear chastity belts because male masturbation is genocide.  It's not our fault we got or get pregnant or live in an ass-backwards society that dictates a male God's will can be altered with fertility drugs--no problem; but actively miscarriage?--than you're a souless whore.  Your religiously fueled opinion should not influence what happens to my actual real life.  And yes, making life and causing death is A PART of the human experience, you cannot cause war and yet suspend my ability to decide creation as a female, that is NOT for you to say sirs.  It's just not.

This...*ruling*...degrees no separation of corporation and religion, and since any half-wit should know by now that we live in an corporate run oligarchy, it's really important to grasp the real actual danger in this particular outcome.  I'm honestly surprised that no one on the net seems to be drawing attention to this fact (as far as I've seen).  I can't predict the future but I am going to ascertain that this does not bode well for us.  Is the cross of the future going to be a golden M or a pair of mouse ears?

Corporations aren't fucking people.

I'm a fucking person.

Corporations can literally live *forever*  - so you know what that really makes them?--Vampires.
          

 And y'all know to deal with bloodsuckers.  

We could even...make a hobby out of it.    

Where Americans Live

You live in ruins,
You live in movies.

Feed your children poison.
You feed your children disease. 

You silence your women,
And cut down your trees.

You live in suburbs,
You skin both your knees.

You don't own, you rent,
but you're both on the lease.

You buy for satisfaction,
You fuck for release.

And if you feel uncertain,
even while he sleeps...

You know it's no Civil Iron Curtain,
he just never says please.

You live in ruins.
You live in TVs.

Post Title - (poem)

Pompadour,

Ostrea puelchana_

do we languish

as we suffer alone?

isolated

in these little glass shells

where you located
under the skin?

in these timeless hells we call
home?

and if I misspoke

why'd you misstep?--

--on that loose step on the stair

sometimes you don't see the bruises
because they're under the hair

you wanna whisper I was golden?

that my red delicious was stolen?

when thee entire system is sentimental & ornamental

while we lie as dust blowin'
in a transcendental wind

where havin' a kid is taking a bid
and the adults don't know that the present *IS* the future...

and you know it's comin'
but you don't know when

& you cry into your pillow because no one listened

and you've been disowned

found yourself wishing

you'd been left

alone.

5 Aquatic Creatures That Redefine "Sexuality"

I love me some human transgenders, because it helps me contemplate the divine collective spirit that connects us all.  It allows me to perceive identity as something fluid and to be self-actualized; instead of engineered by society.    

These notions have assisted me in choosing to become a feminist, have allowed me to believe in a love that defies societal constraints or dynamics, it's basically why... 
...I'm so groovy.  

But what I love most about the androgynous, the transgenders, transsexuals, hermaphrodites, and transvestites - is their truly uncanny ability to reflect ourselves as a society back to ourselves as a society, and we can see how while we endeavor to appear to become so sexy in the eye of some imagined beholder (no matter how programmed some of us are for whose eyes these days...) on occasion we fail to see how silly we look to other beholden. 

Not to say Nikki Nicole looks silly but don't we all look kinda silly?  If you really think about all the pompadour and pageantry we put on for each other, which ultimately ends in disappointment and heartache, only because we have not dared to fully know nor express our truest self and instead catered to a lesser lustful self?  

So it is with the greatest pleasure and reverence do I bring you five aquatic creatures that redefine notions of "sexuality".

#1). The Blue-headed wrasse fish 

This fish lives in harems, about a dozen females to one male.(Sounds prudy, pimp 'amirite bromosexuals?)  But when the colorful male dies, the largest female in the harem changes into a male at will, even adopting the same flashy colors.  The transformation takes roughly a week, at this time she dons not merely the colors but behaviors of a male, capable of successfully fertilizing the eggs of his/her former companions with the sperm he/she is now creating.

  

Chromosomes don't govern the process of sex, merely the social signal of the disappearance of the male does in this wondrous fish. 

#2). The marine worm, Bonellia viridis 

All of these worms are female, the males, a distinct separate sex, live inside of them.  The 8-10 centimeters long female dwarfs the 5 millimeter long male.  The male lives inside of the female's womb.  Feeding off of her nutrients and only releasing sperm when she's laying eggs.  As larvae they are initially sexless, unless consumed by a female, where her hormones turn the larvae male.  Larvae left untouched by a female's proboscis develop into females themselves.

#3). Platyhelminthes, or flatworms 

  

(They're really beautiful, aren't they?)

Flatworms are hermaphrodites. When two members of the species meet, they have a peculiar duel: they whip out their penises like swordsmen, then try to stab each other with them. The successful stabber becomes the male, while the recipient of the stab becomes the female.  (Talk about awkwardly losing your virginity).  Then it's on like squirmy wormy Donkey Kong all night long!  

#4). Bdelloid Rotifers   

These little ladies have the ability to absorb genetic materials from other species and acquire their abilities. Bdelloid rotifers excised males from their gene pool 80 million years ago.


Sexual reproduction is evolution's way of increasing genetic diversity. There are plenty of species that still reproduce asexually, but there are very few that developed sexual reproduction and then subsequently lost it like this species. The ability to incorporate genetic material from their surroundings may be a strategy for maximizing genetic diversity in lieu of genetic recombination through sexual reproduction.  

Quite fascinating when you really think about it.  Is this the next step in sexual evolution, genetic absorption from the environment within the confines of a perpetual sisterhood?

#5). Ostrea puelchana oyster  

This South American oyster has a reproductive strategy known as rhythmic successive hermphroditism. Larvae settle and, after about a year, become sexually mature males. Then, as they continue to develop, they turn into hermaphrodites. Finally, they end their several years life as females. But not every single Ostrea get to enjoy life as a rhythmic successive hermaphrodite. This species has two, separate reproductive strategies. Ostrea puelchana also possess neotenous dwarf males.

These dwarf males only live for about a year, and they are only found attached to 17% of adult Ostrea. It appears that the dwarf males can only reproduce with exclusively female individuals, not hermaphrodites. Interestingly, when adult density increases, the number of females decreases.

So, for this oyster, a higher density of hermaphrodites is a reproductive advantage when the population is large–-this doubles partners to spawn with–-but when the population is small, having dedicated males attached to your shell increases the odds of successful reproduction.

Could you imagine, being a human being, only starting your life as male, living mid-life as a hermaphrodite, and ending your life as female? 

Sigh, bitch, I didn't think so.

The Neighbors

He replaced her,
Easily, readily, apparently
Reduced her and introduced her,
Reupholstered, and seduced her.
Allowed her sin in too akin to skin to be a blue twin when whenever you repurpose an allowance of an alliance between with or within.
Without...
...They tuss and tussle about.
He loses, she gains clout
There is clashes, fangs flashes, gnashing but now,
Silence, a hum.  To error is human.
But a humanitarian can scare and scar,
Just ask her.
She don't live dare no mo`.
So he replaced her.
After he ridiculed and defaced her.
With his cum and his jizz,
The bruises are hers,
But the initials are his.

Two Weeks - (poem)

2 weeks, they gave me
     two weeks,
Time – don’t waste it.
But it’s so hard not to waste it.
Milk was spilt by toddlers,
Now it fodders failing memories.  
Floods local cemeteries,
And all conversation is commentary, 
It wasn’t time well spent...
...but 2 weeks is what they gave me; 2 weeks is what was 
lent.
Placed it in my palm & told me to read ‘em or be owned 
Forever,
Girl, you’re still alive, you really can be left alone, especially
When you don’t know where he went.
You think about Kent, OH, wonder if 
That all hadn’t unfolded months ago.
Did the baggage really hold you back by just 2 weeks...?
Will you ever make it to the end of Fargo or see florescent
Puerto Rico?
In two weeks will all your anti-matter splatter?—Will it have
Twice the arch if you’re fatter?  I don’t think I can lay-low,
I lost my pay-load...
2 weeks ago.
Hate to tell you, so I won’t tell you so, sew those lips shut...
Shush, I’ll kiss you to slush, wasn’t I such a slut, 
2 weeks ago?
You don’t walk you Rumba, you don’t speak, you Sumba,
Hold you up like Simba, there’s no sins here,
I held it in here, I was marooned here,
They kill baby deer here,
Got stuck here, got chucked here, got bucked here, got 
fucked here, got mucked here, got shucked here, got to steer 
clear of here
and of notions of love
when I was shoved
2 weeks ago.  Through a hole.
I got two weeks.
Two.
2.
Weeks
To 
Go. 
I’ve made a kaleidoscope of mistakes. 
Jumped in the lake.
Raked in cash, lost face, gas masked.
But it won’t matter any,
The days add up like pennies, that I like to spin and tweak,
Staring down all the super-freaks with clover in my teeth,
that I started saving only over...
...the last few weeks.    

Is This Person Really Just A Jerk? - 15 Ways To Tell If They Are

(Yup, that shade of jerk is permanent, son.)

Munchausen hadn't had the best of days when this was originally drafted.  Maybe it started when a legit troll on Twitter started harassing Munchausen's handle to the point where the Twitter app had to get temporarily uninstalled from my smartphone because this troll was sooo desperate to get the last word in and was hell bent on telling Munchausen to cut the "radical feminism" out because it was so "unbecoming".  Reassuring that if Munchausen "stopped saying stupid things" - they'd never be heard from again, when I never really wanted to hear from them in the first place, (guess they didn't know about the block feature on Twitter or my First Amendment Rights?!).  Or maybe it was the garbage truck driver I had to flick off when I was getting into my car on that same particular morning when they decided to give a wolf whistle despite my truly conservative garb.  

(Munchausen has 17 Twitter followers brah!  Uh-oh, better tell that mouthy free thinker to shut it!)

In any case, the multiverse made it abundantly clear to me that day that some people merely really don't know how to conduct themselves online or off and that perhaps a new set of standards ought to be written down to assist others in determining--is this person really just a jerk?  

(Hey, girls can be jerks too...)

Most jerks display the following 15 telltale signs:

#15). They Mock Others (Especially If Who They Are Mocking Can't Defend Themselves) - 

If they're making fun of single men on Facebook for being cat owners or calling sexually inexperienced twelve year old girls "sluts", chances are, yes, this person is a jerk.  Or at the very least, highly immature, insensitive, and wouldn't make very good parent or life-partner material, so never engage this type of person in flirty conversation.  They don't deserve your acknowledgement, let alone your time or attention.       

(Except maybe to tell them to go away.)

#14). They Make Random Observations On Your Appearance (Especially If You Didn't Ask For Those Observations) - 

(If only all the guys that told me I looked beautiful looked more like him.)

If someone randomly tells you look better with your hair down or your glasses off or when you sport a beard and you didn't actually ask for their opinion and they just proceed to gawk at you for whatever it is that they just "complimented" you on--guess what?--their opinion doesn't actually matter.  An opinion is NOT a compliment.  If hair on the back of your neck drives you crazy at work and you only really wear it down on dates or legit special occasions, or if you need your spectacles to actually see, or your beard is only a winter thing because it's so itchy, than they should seriously STFU.   

Saying shit like this to someone when they didn't ask for your opinion is seriously fucking rude.  Also the purpose of existence isn't to just to look attractive or more attractive to other people.  For every person that likes your hair down more, there's two others that prefer it up.  For every person that thinks you need contacts, there's five others that think you look adorable in glasses.  For every person that likes your beard, ten others like your actual face.  You can't please everyone, and only really need to please yourself when it comes to your appearance or how you feel about your appearance.  All that matters in this world is how you perceive yourself, and having some self acceptance when it comes to your physical appearance oozes self confidence, and nothing is sexier than confidence.

It's also seriously time for females to realize that your own personal real physical comfort levels should trump aesthetics for the imaginary or real male gaze.  So retire those shoes that eventually disfigure your feet, that dress you can barely breathe in, and that shade of lipstick that includes lead as an ingredient.  Trust me, it's so totally not worth it.

(Ladies, please stop being a *fashion* victim.)

   
#13). They Touch You, A Lot (Especially If You Don't Touch Them, Ever) - 

No one should ever be touching you against your will, period.  It doesn't matter where or when or how they touch you.  If you didn't make enough of a connection with that person where you don't touch them, what warrants them touching you?  If they grab your arm constantly to get your attention all the time or give you shoulder massages that you never asked them for, or try to tickle you randomly, seriously, tell them to fuck off.  You're not a fucking cat.

This would also include talking to you excessively, if the person you're talking to isn't making eye contact with you 8 out of 12 times, get the subtle hint for fuck's sake already and buzz off!

#12). They Don't Get The Subtle Hints To Back Off - 

Does sarcasm go over their heads?  Do they think you being mean is "playing hard to get" or some weird form of flirtation?  Are they failing to realize that you meet everyone else's eyes in conversation but theirs, that they take one step forward while you take two steps back?  Are they not getting you're mean mugging them when they try to stick their crotch in your face?--than don't write them off as just being socially inept, chances are they're just a jerk that rather portray themselves as socially clueless because they don't like the hints you are giving.      

In those situations it's best to follow a three strikes you're out rule (depending on the severity or if it's in the workplace).  If it gets really annoying, literally, stand up to them, meet their eyes, hold their gaze, and call them out on whatever behavior it is that they are exhibiting that's making you feel awkward.  Turn the tables around and make them feel awkward about it, and don't drop the subject until they know that whatever type of forced social interaction they're subjecting you to - better fucking stop NOW.  

(It'll be far less awkward than getting stalked or sexually assaulted, I assure you.)

  

#11). Everything's "Just A Joke" - 

These jokes are usually at your own expense.  And if you're not laughing, it's not funny.  They're the joke, not you.  Jerks like this never take anything seriously so why should you take them seriously? 

These are the type of jerks that think being mean, or perverted, or inappropriate is funny and when reminded that, "No, being mean/perverted/inappropriate actually *isn't* very funny," they protest, "But I was just joking!" 

(Just remind them that there must be a very lonely microphone out there in desperate need of all their "jokes".)

 
#10). They're Always Right - 

Nobody's always right, not even Munchausen.  Only fucking jerks think they're right all of the time and it's impossible to have a friendly debate with a jerk let alone a conversation if they literally always think they're correct on any topic, even if you've lived the topic they're talking about and know that they're wrong.  Just cut your losses and stop talking to them altogether if you want to consider yourself lucky, or ever be right again.  

#9). They Like To Hear Themselves Talk, A Lot - 

When this gets coupled with the 'I'm always right jerk' it can be a truly harrowing experience.

This is different from going weeks or months without talking to someone and occasionally life details will dominate the conversation and your friend apologizes and asks if they are monopolizing the conversation.  This type of jerk will literally dry hump your ears with words and they will not.  Ever.  Shut.  Up.

These jerks never realize that someone else might not only have something to add to the conversation, but that someone else might actually have something even more important to say, or that the topic maybe should've changed 20 minutes ago.    

These are the people that talk at you, not to you.  People that do that, stop, you're pissing all the active listeners off.

#8). They Give "Non-Apology" Apologies - 

Yeah...I'm sorry but...whenever someone apologies for "how you feel" as opposed to what they really actually did to even cause you to feel that way, they are, unequivocally, a total fucking JERK. 

Apologizing to someone you've upset doesn't mean you're weak, or that they're magically more correct than you.  Apologizing to someone that you've genuinely hurt or caused to feel some sort of alarm, just means you're not a total asshole.  But when you either don't apologize at all or give a half-ass apology that shoulders the entire blame of a situation that they caused on your reaction - than honey, ditch that jerk.  This means that they never see the self-responsibility of their actions, they don't act on empowerment, they aren't noble people.  Fuck 'em. 

#7). They Insult People As A "Comeback" In A Debate - 

Okay, so you're in a debate, and instead of being articulate or factual in defending your stance, you instead make a personal insult or attack on the person who is taking time to speak to you?--You are a damn JERK for doing this.  

Seriously, that's not even civilized.  Next time jerk, during a heated debate, instead of devolving to insults, try to...

#6). Friendship Is Their Kingdom - 

When people treat their friends like personal serfs, they're not just a jerk, they're a fucking asshole.  These are "friends" that are ultimately not even real friends, they're fakes, and chances are they want you to fall in line with their bogus fakery. 

Don't do it, nobody needs fake friends.  Forgiveness, acceptance, thoughtfulness, and diversity are all markers of healthy friendships, if you settle for anything less, you're shorting yourself.  Real friends challenge you and don't ditch you over stupid shit.

When someone has a strong personality, idiosyncrasies, and is a bit eccentric, that doesn't mean "the king" gets to banish them from his kingdom and if he does...their loss brah.  

See jerks like to surround themselves with passive people that fall in line to whatever it is that they dictate the rules of friendship should be, but their word shouldn't always be the only or last word in.  When it is, eventually, they'll end up estranging any real friends they could've had for an entire lifetime and instead be surrounded by a bunch of user fakes that only maintain the friendship because of what they get out of it, ie. - comfortable place to party, use of a in-ground pool.  But you can't use your possessions to control other people's behavior and when you continue to do it, all your serfs, will ultimately betray you, for they're either just as fake as you or just get over the fact that...    

#5). They Are Show-offs or Braggarts - 

They'll brag or show-off anything that they think will elevate their status.  Granted, we all can display this behavior, but with jerks?--They do this shit all the fucking time and it's really annoying.  Trucks can only get so big and heels can only get so high.  It's been my experience that the people who should be bragging are typically too humble to do so.  Jerks just love showing other people how great they are, even though they lack substance and aren't really all that fucking great. 

#4). No Mess Is Ever "Their" Mess - 

Yes jerk, actually, you did!

Jerks make an assortment of messes that they seem to think other people will just magically clean up for them.

The world is their garbage can.  So if you've ever had to clean up after a jerk, that never even paused to thank you for doing so, know that Munchausen says to them, "Fuck you jerk, clean up after yourself next time!," for you.  (Maybe even leave this blog post as a comment on their Facebook page so they can get the much needed hint to stop being so inconsiderate and if they call you out on it, just say you were joking, like other jerks do). 

#3). Nothing Is Ever Their Fault - 

Combine #8 and #10 you get this jerky jerk, they perpetually never act on empowerment or take ownership over their own actions.  These jerks are not only always right, they *never* fucking apologize for any trespasses they've made because they're literally oblivious that they're trespassing against others.

In my opinion, these are the worst type of jerks walking.  

They never have any gratitude or express remorse. 

#2). They're Entitled To Everything - 

They think all of the things belong to them, because automatically everything in their line of vision belongs to them.  They think that with little effort or hard work that they'll get things handed to them, everything from Mom's car to your phone number, and these types of people are truly...intolerable.

#1). They're Such A Jerk, They Don't Even Know That They're A Jerk - 

The biggest favor you could ever do to a jerk is to either kill them with kindness and live by example for them, OR...tell them what a jerk they actually are so we can all stop dealing with so many jerks.  

The multiverse would truly owe you one!